Henry VIII
This oft-married British king engineered a religious schism from the Roman Catholic Church so he could divorce his first wife. That same year, he enacted the first British laws to make Buggery a capital crime. Athletic and handsome as a youth, he grew immensely fat after a jousting accident.
Forever immortalized by Herman's Hermits:
I'm Henry the eighth I am,
Henry the eighth I am, I am.
I got married to the widow next door,
She's been married seven times before,
And every one was an Henry (Henry!)
She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (No Sam!)
I'm her eighth old man, I'm Henry,
Henry the eighth I am
Second verse, same as the first etc. etc.
Timeline
| 28 Jun 1491 |
Henry VIII born. |
| 11 Jun 1509 |
Marries Catherine of Aragon (#1), his brother's widow. |
| 24 Jun 1509 |
Crowned King of England. |
| 18 Feb 1516 |
Catherine of Aragon gives birth to Mary I. |
| 11 Feb 1531 |
Henry becomes Supreme Governor of the Church of England. |
| 1533 |
Introduces the Buggery Act, making buggery a hanging offense. This statute remains in effect until 1861. |
| 25 Jan 1533 |
Marries Anne Boleyn (#2) in secret. |
| 23 May 1533 |
Marriage to Catherine of Aragon annulled. |
| 7 Sep 1533 |
Anne Boleyn gives birth to Elizabeth I. |
| 1536 |
Injures his thigh in a jousting accident. His subsequent inability to exercise is responsible for the modern image of his fatness. |
| 11 Feb 1536 |
Marriage to Anne Boleyn annulled. |
| 19 May 1536 |
Anne Boleyn beheaded, having been convicted of adultery, witchcraft, and treason. |
| 30 May 1536 |
Marries Jane Seymour (#3). |
| 12 Oct 1537 |
Jane Seymour gives birth to Edward VI. |
| 24 May 1537 |
Jane Seymour dies. |
| 6 Jan 1540 |
Marries Anne of Cleves (#4). |
| 9 Jul 1540 |
Marriage to Anne of Cleves annulled. |
| 28 Jul 1540 |
Marries Catherine Howard (#5). |
| 13 Feb 1542 |
Catherine Howard beheaded, having been convicted of treason and adultery. |
| 12 Jul 1543 |
Marries Catherine Parr (#6). It is her fourth marriage, making her the most-married Queen of England. |
| 28 Jan 1547 |
Dies, possibly due to gout or Syphilis. |
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